Wish List

You know how I envy other people with things I want that I do not have. So here, I have listed my own wish list.

1. DSLR Camera

Beauty is too precious that it needs to be captured. I want to be a photographer. Maybe become a fashion photographer like Nigel Barker, Mike Ruiz, Mike Rosenthal. 

2. Ipod

Music is Love. You know that.

Sensing

I was there and I watched the clouds move. The sun was washing over the windows of the tall buildings that started to emerge in every inch of the city. The sound of the man singing, resonated, while the beat of the drums reverberated.

People were moving, talking, glancing. Energy bounced off in every direction. Invisible waves of thoughts and emotions floated in the air in colors imaginable. I could feel them traversing the open even if all else were black and white. People's emotions are so strong that they overwhelm every part of me. It injects a heavy dose of uncertainty, and an even stronger dose of security that many are with me in feeling what life has brought to the plate.

Many of us cannot sense what is there because we are preoccupied with a million other things that hinder our ability to feel other people, to feel their joy or their pain, their success or failure. Or maybe, sometimes, we only think of ourselves all the time.

Undesirable

I wanted to roll down the window of the car. I wanted fresh air on  my face. But my hands did not move, and my face looked angry. I could sense it.

I was angry at my brother who did nothing actually, he just irritated me. I was angry at my father for calling our driver dumb. I was angry at the loud, roaring sound that a passing motorcycle produced. I was angry at the continued whining of my step-sister. I was angry at the pain in my ass for the trip home, which today seemed like years. I was angry at the dogs for barking so loud.

I was angry because we had to go home early. I did not get to finish the movie I was watching with my crush. Well, if that's not embarrassing enough. I hate myself (looks down with remorse).


I entered the well-lit receiving area of our home and looked at the mirror, I forced my face to look normal. (I'm good at supressing emotions on my face). I went to my room and opened my laptop and wrote this. I wanted to let this undesirable feeling, being angry with things and people, out. I said to myself, "This is one of my mood swings. I was okay 30 minutes ago."

But see, sometimes, a good dinner and good news would make you feel better.